Friday 8 April 2016

To salvage this day (Post-"Mahabang Gabi: Una sa Tatlo")

So much immaturity in this post, I can't handle it.


Okay. Facebook's "On This Day" app officially sucks. 



2 years today, I had one of the best nights of my life. This still sounds cheesy and yet despite all that happened in the days and months after that night, I must still admit that it is still quite memorable and I have yet to have a night as special as that one. Given that I am the only one who had eye-shaped eyeballs then, the earlier statements may be a bit exaggerated.

I just came back from my first trip to Boracay and brought home with me a wrap-around (that I initially thought to be a sarong that's why I bought it) to be given to the guy that has my attention (all of my attention) then. We didn't really plan to meet because he is only dropping by in Manila for his M.A enrollment and had to meet a friend in Timog, but I just had to give him the pasalubong because my mom is already hinting that she wants it (I only got her a shirt and some magnetic knick knack for our refrigerator). So we met and what was intentionally just a pasalubong delivery-popping-in turned into this longgggggg night that I still dream about it sometimes. 

I posted a status of it then and with all the courage I could muster in my body I tagged him and he let it pass. It was abig moment. You see, he told me never to leave any social media trace of our interactions, no pictures, tagging and public postings on each other's walls (I guess liking each other's statuses can be excused because he was so into that); and that status was the only testament that I had of that one night. Subsequently after posting, the creature that is called my best friend immediately commented on the said status. She didn't like him and it was fair I guess. I was so secretive about him and at the very first clue of who he was, she immediately decided to be a villain. Again, I was so love drunk then that I laughed the whole status off and replied playfully. Oh boy, such innocence.

Last year, after I saw it pop up in my "On this Day" remindet courtesy of the people from facebook, I replied and thanked the same best friend for being the witch that she was/is. That time it was her turn to laugh. I let it slide, she earned that.  I kept checking the status that entire day. Just seeing his name tagged there attached to my name made me all sorts of nostalgic. It's weird to say this, but I felt that I was very close to him at that moment and I kinda feel like my 24 year old self again.

This year though, I was prepared. I knew that I'll be seeing that post again and it made me excited. Again, it's like revisiting that memory without know ing what happened after. Kapag nababasa ko yung post na yun, lahat lang ng positibo ang naiisip ko at naaalala ko pa kung gaano ako ka-hopeful that time. However this year, my witch of a best friend, true to her nature just had to step in and have her claws all over it. She once again replied to the same status making fun of it. Being the good sport that I am (or trying to be) I said something like"And we shall laugh at this post for the years to come, right? Right?!" and then she proceeded in tarnishing the memory. 2 minutes later I noticed that  he untagged himself in the post. Maybe he's had it, I don't know. That's it, my precious memory altered altogether. 

It might be silly, being affected by that deliberate move, but it's just that that status was all I had. Hahaha. I feel pathetic just reading the words. I am a very sentimental person, the type that takes any souvenirs that I can and is allowed to have. That status was my souvenir and it was something that other people can see, for once I was allowed to share to the people in facebook (hahaha so juvenile) that I spent a lovely night with someone who was really special to me. And now it's gone. 

Oh boy. I didn't anticipate this post to be this long but it is and I don't want to alter anything about it. I am so upset about it that I may drink some wine tonight, goodness, or run to let out some steam. Pero ito lang naman ang totoo dyan, tapos na yun at wala na akong magagawa. Alam kong kapag sinabi ko to sa iba sasabihin na naman nila na dapat kalimutan ko na lang. Eh sa namimili rin naman ako ng memories, after all they are mine too. I have a say which ones I want to keep. Goodness. 

14 comments:

  1. I had a good read, light and relatable. Lol

    I do have those selected entries on social media, fb in particular, which when unearthed by that On This Day feature remind me how on rare occasions, we become brave to shed to the world a little light on our fragile stories. I seldom post intimate stories on fb but when i cannot hold it, i do it almost subtlely, without mentions of names or places but definitely with some lines to remind of that certain moment.

    And when i am reminded of it because of that fb feature, i find joy reading it alone. I can be very selfish (or private i should say) of such things most of the times. And one exact reason why i seldom share those: new comments might taint the memory and revise the story altogether. :)

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    1. I sounded whiny here. I am sorry. April is not really my month. I think we are really more sensitive when it involves the things we value the most. It's your third time here, hello again.

      Delete
  2. Hahaha. No, I am not laughing AT you, but rather the lengthy goings-on behind the scene that had to do with this memory of a certain event that happened long ago and immortalized on FB's On This Day feature. (Note that I have yet to read the link. For want of light reading I will.).

    I have friends who are like this and like to make a fuss over liking/not liking certain posts and you remind me of them. One in particular wanted not to appear too stalker-ish hence the "liking" of ONLY every other post, or sometimes even skips one or two.

    It has now become a science, I see now. Hahaha.

    And then now you make me curious about this mystery person (Will read about him in a bit.), since you began in me several questions, as "Why all the fuss?" "If he, indeed was THIS special, why DIDN'T you DO anything more?"

    Many more questions.

    Ahh, but the thrill to become engrossed in other people's stories, just.

    Thank you. This is most... entertaining (I think there's a better word. Escapes me just now...).


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    1. Overthinking played a big role in this post's construction. I dunno, I employ a lot of "Why is he doing/not doing something..." and "Is he doing this deliberately to affect me?" (and more questions along that line)

      I hope you won't get confused, this blog of mine contains some really really weird stuff, that even I can't explain why I posted them and when did i get the balls to put them up in the first place.

      I'm glad you are entertained, that was something.

      Delete
  3. Really really really weird stuff interests me.

    Just like this time the doctors had to stitch my leg for some minor (major. I needed 6 stitches.) thing. I COULD NOT LOOK AWAY, DESPITE MYSELF.

    Gimme his number and I'll ask him personally (Hey dude, what have you been doing/not doing? Am from this random market survey thing and we need to know. Right. Right.).

    I'd even drop in a good word (or two) about you. Work that into the conversation somehow.

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    1. Ohhh, what joy. I would have taken pictures of it kung ako yun. What happened? 6 stitches sounds really major.

      I can't, I erased it and he is already happy with someone.

      Oh well, that's how the cookie crumbles.

      Delete
  4. You bake, yes?

    What is it you're cooking?

    Motorbike accident, steep incline, tree, avoiding a dog. Silly, silly tree.

    Awww. Ni hindi niya alam may "Him" tag sha, all of his own. Abangan naten sa kanto gusto mo? You hold him while I... tickle him witless?

    Anyway. Haha.

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    1. I love sweets but haven't baked a thing in over a decade. *note to self, must save up for that deluxe oven*

      These days I am crazy over Korean or Japanese Dishes, plus points if it's vegan.

      I don't think he'll appreciate na may "Him" tag sya dito, but base on how selfish and narcissistic he is baka rin, *shrugs* who knows? Ako na lang naman ang nagbibigay pagdurusa sa sarili ko sa palagiang pag-alala sa kanya. Sana mapagod na ako sa kagaganito.

      Delete
  5. Chalk him off the list, then. Start anew. Okay, I'll let you off the writing-about-him chore na.

    I have new frosting tips, bigay ng isang friend ko. Haven't tried yet. Too hot a day to make anything.

    And are you, vegan? Toying with the idea. Can give up beef and pork, iffy on chicken and fish (love them kase).

    Why Japanese? Why Korean?

    Note that I am veering all topic away from HayupNaYunManhid. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAH



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    1. Hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha. I am learning, you should have talked to me 2 years ago. Boy, am I a mess then. Haha

      Frosting tipsssss!!!!!!!!!!!! *envious* Use it! Use it!!

      Nope I am not vegan. Same sentiments with the meat choices, iba talaga eh kapag may karne ang pagkain.

      I just love those cuisines, at ang dadali pa nilang lutuin. Kailangan ko lang ay panahon at budget for the ingredients.

      Yes, I have noticed. You would have succeeded if only you didn't point it out. Haha.

      Delete
  6. Don't punish yourself too much over it. We're all fools pagdating diyan.

    Matalino, bobo, babae, lalaki, tomboy, bakla, matanda, bata, mayaman, mahirap, all. Nagiging ewan na tayo pag hayan na.

    Anyways.

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    1. Unti-unti ko pa lang natututunan yan. Again, still learning here. Salamat na rin sa vote of confidence. I appreciate that. :)

      Delete

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