A Look Back: Hey Yow, BaguioW!

I have been told that I have a very bad habit of constantly looking back in the past and feeling sad about it. It is extremely wasteful and not to mention a mood-spoiling routine, but I can't help it. There is this beautiful shade of something unreachable that blankets memories like this one, especially with the kind where you and I are both happy (or so I thought).

I remember the excitement I tried containing but somewhat failing at while I wait for you at the bus station. It's very inappropriate, this rushing feelings of elation and nervousness because I just had a very serious argument with my mother, I was supposed to be upset. You see dear, she wanted to stop me from going at the very last minute, "it doesn't feel right" she said, having her 24 year old daughter go to Baguio with a guy she doesn't know. It is just ridiculous, this sudden changing of mind, she knew about the plan months before and she heard daily of how much I was looking forward to this trip. So quite defiantly I dragged my bag and left the house, I still went ahead to see you.

You made me wait. 3 hours, I was sitting there with a cold cup of convenient store bought coffee in hand and just looking out for you. I waited, just like how I waited years after this trip for you to come back or to arrive (unimportant this bit really, I just wanted to see you). 

You arrived with this swagger that I used to like, you sat beside me and peeked at the journal I've been doodling on while I wait for you. Goodness, you looked lovely, my hands ached to touched your cheeks but all I could do instead is ask, "Gutom ka na?" trying to get the open binder out of your sight, I was just in the middle of writing a poem about you (again) when you came. You put your right elbow on the table and your hand under your chin and smiled at me, I wanted to melt, your left hand proceeded to reach my hair and petted me like the cat you thought I was, "Been waiting for me?" I wished someone is recording that moment for me, as my face burned with the rush of blood and you chuckled playfully seeing that I am speechless. It was one of the moments I was convinced that we love each other, funny thing how happiness convince our brains of notions that are otherwise improbable.

You took my bag, the Hawaiian themed one and led me through the station, we looked for any bus out of the city to Baguio and it proved to be a challenge, it being a Friday and all. When we happened on one, 4 blocks away from the bus company we intended to get on, you immediately raised the dibs on wanting to sit beside the window seat, I wanted to protest but relented. The lovesick girl that I was rarely protested during that time, I was busy capturing mental notes and images of us, too preoccupied with imaginings of a future together. 

We sat together in the dark, the bus making its way up north and at the 3rd hour you took my shoulder and draw me near to you, that's when I finally fell asleep. 

We arrived a little later after the sunrise. Baguio was covered in early morning mist and the fragrant scent of pine filled the air, I smiled. You took the bags and led me to the city. I knew you loved this place, it's all you could talk about sometimes and as we found ourselves in the middle of just awakening Session Road, you raised the idea of breakfast. I am tired from the trip, we didn't talk much but the idea of sharing a meal with you once again excited me. "Pancakes!" I said immediately and your eyes were twinkling, maybe out of amusement for this girl gets happy with just any suggestion from you. You suggested a place known for their pizza but I was already set for pancakes. They didn't have any so I settled for waffles. You laughed at this, I think you knew that it's not going to end well and pretty soon I knew why. People should order pizzas in a pizza place, not waffles, simply because it's a pizza place. Why do I demand things from places that couldn't provide them? So breakfast was disappointing, it ended up with you finishing my food and I, getting crankier and crankier every second. 

"Ah, coffee!" you suddenly said, sounding like you found the world's greatest answer while your hand found mine and I let myself relax a bit. We went to the market to got freshly grounded coffee beans. I stood there while you expertly ordered beans after beans and I couldn't help but wonder how many times you went here with her. She grew up in the place after all, I caught myself before I get lost in that dark thinking, she's far away now with someone else, there is no use in letting memories of her tarnish this one we are just having. We bought food stocks, enough to last us the 3 days and 2 nights we intend to stay in the city. As much as I wanted to be tourist-y that time (it was only my 2nd visit in the place) I conceded into staying in the transient place I arranged for us to stay in. I stood my ground on the attending Church on a Sunday bit since sabi mo namang aakyat ka ulit ng bundok,  I think you didn't care much in what I will do, you are there to rest as you said. In the fx on the way to our accommodations you dived into this tour of "all thing *Ex-girlfriend's name*".

"This is where she attended high school", "Her family owned that pharmacy", "If we get off here and take a tricycle on that block there, we'll get to her family's house", and so on. I pulled a face, the one I know I make when I am starting to be upset. You caught a glimpse of my almost teary eyes as I look out to the scenery we're passing by. You shifted in your seat and then took one of my shoulders and with all of the affection you could muster with your voice you asked, "Okay ka lang?" I bit my lips but couldn't help answering back, "You should have told me naman, sana nalaman ko agad na field trip about *her name* to, eh di sana gumawa ka na rin ng brochure para mas informative." You let out this amused laughter and gave me a peck on the cheek, you knew how to work me. You know every word and every move that could soften me up, it was dangerous. The driver was smiling as I snatched a glance of him in the rear view mirror. Crazy, love drunk kids, he might have thought, oh how wrong was he. 

I slept almost immediately and you fiddled with stuff, checking on things to use in the kitchen. You woke me up just before dusk and asked me to help out cook something for dinner, I was happy. After dinner, you had some of those coffee brewed and I had my tea. We stayed in this part of the transient house that gave us this magnificent view of Baguio, "It looks like Rio de Janeiro", I remember myself saying. You turned to me as if you have some response to that and then changed your mind, you went on sipping your coffee. That night I slept in your arms contented, the most contented I remember myself be.

The next morning I arranged breakfast, you were still asleep. When I finally managed to rouse you, I could tell that you were surprised. Well, this girl could cook too. Just before I left to attend the local Baptist Church (you didn't push through the hiking plan) I conjured the courage to kiss you goodbye and I could swear it felt so natural, as if we've been doing it all our lives. I smiled my sweetest before I leave you to this tennis game. Life is good.

After the service, we met in this famous Mcdonalds' and took a walk around the city center. Bought some pasalubongs and additional food stuff for the night's dinner. I hope we never stopped walking then.

One of the vendors teased us if we are together and I remember the hot sensation of blood rushing to my cheeks as I dragged you away from her. We haven't discussed about that part and I am not prepared to hear the answer with someone else there. That's a conversation I wanted to relish all to my own. You just laughed it off, seeing how embarrassed I was and then once again held my hands. We went home and shared a meal together. We spent our last night in Baguio talking and just before I turned in bed to sleep, we kissed. Everything is right in the world.

Monday came with messages from Manila. "I don't understand, you're on leave right?" you said as we are preparing to go back. I shrugged, keeping 2 jobs is really tricky, and taking a vacation on both jobs even more challenging. I was busy answering work questions while you wanted to stay another day; I couldn't, responsibilities await me, so quite begrudgingly we returned. On the bus, you hugged me and slept. Whatever changes this trip made may bring in our lives in Manila, I know I was ready. With a smile we parted ways and made promises to contact each other as soon as we reach home. That will be the last time I'll see you.

2 days after that trip, you'll send me a message telling me that I should stop writing about you and then it was over.