Note to Self

D,

In cases like this one, know when to or not to write. Today is one of the tricky cases so I'll step in to decide. You are not going to write about today.
You're vocabulary is too lacking to fully explain what you are feeling, you are even at risk of sounding hateful. Let's not get to that point, it's wasteful and extinguishing.

You will not make excuses or assumptions, reason will come, in time. Breathe please and cry if you must, but should you? There's hardly anything to cry about here. Keep moving and rest when necessary, long enough to regroup and then keep moving again.  Employ defense mechanisms, 3 at most love. We don't want anything sort of a breakdown now, especially not now.

Stop making it a big deal that will seem to give an impression to people that they need to care. They won't. So quietly go about your day, making as little sound as possible. 

Sleep, oh okay your drinking all that tea? Alright? Ehhherm. Yeah sleep, it's a free escape, just don't hover around the what ifs just before slumber creeps in, incredibly unhelpful.

Hmmm...what else? Keep social interactions amiable, keep it short if you feel like bursting out, let's not bring casualties along. Smile if you have nothing to say, and then let your gaze fall downcast, your lashes hooding your eyes. This gives people the impression that you are secretly happy and keeping the reason behind the smile private. They'll love it, cause they won't feel the need to make you feel better.

Beloved D. This too shall past. You've weathered stronger storms. You'll be alright soon.

-Critic