Hit Follow (Para kay Bernardo Bernardo na si Bernardo Carpio pala)

Ikaw,

2 taon na mula nang huli tayong umakyat ng bundok, nakita ko kanina sa facebook "On This Day" ko, paborito kang feature nun eh, grabe 2 yearsssss! Di ako makapaniwala, ang bilis ng mga taon, parang di naman din kasi I think last month lang nag-dra-drama pa rin ako over a memory of you, haha. Oh wells.

Yes, your Ukes. Picture taken without permission. Go ahead sue me, tapos babalikan kita ng demanda dun sa 500 na utang mo sa akin at sa 500 na di mo rin ibinalik nung nag-Baguio tayo at para sa damages ng puso kong wasak for the last 2 years. Siraulo ka. Ay di, joke lang, supposedly positive post to eh. Hahaha. 

Dear *Joseph

March 17, 2016

Thursday

Quezon City

Dear *Joseph, 

I realized I haven't written to you in 6 years, 3 months and 9 days. This realization came after that weird dream during my nap after my lunch break at Mama's. Halos isang dekada na tayong magkakilala, at ang weird weird mo pa rin, kahit panaginip lang yun. 

Ceylon Tea Saves the Day

I think, nope I am positively convinced that I am experiencing the 1st hang-over of my life. This sounds really juvenile and I'll probably delete this entry after a couple of days because of sheer embarrassment that will be filled with, "What was I thinking posting this?" But if you know me I'd rather live a life of oh wells than of what ifs. Shocks, I am still able to put together what seems like comprehensible words, it's amazing. 

Winter Blues

I don't really understand winter and the people that like this season. It's grey and cold and sad. You can't really go out and if you do decide to step out of the house, you come out all bundled up and still feel cold.

This Time Last Year I Couldn't Sleep Beside You

(Intended date of Publication: April 18, 2015, but life took over)

So I traveled to get to you, it was late and we are both tired.  What made me smile was the fact that you waited for me.
I lay on bed next to you for the first time, and I am fully awake. I am too aware of your breathing and the every beat of your heart.
At the crack of dawn, you hands found me. The right hand on my shoulders, enveloping me and trying to coax slumber to arrive, while your left hand was on my hair, petting me like a cat. I am a picture of contentment.
In less than 24 hours the next day I tasted your lips on mine. Your lips is a fountain I wanted to drown myself into.
I miss you today. I miss you most days actually, but today I will be saying it out loud, and so my dear let me write about you

Giveaway

Sa mga mandurukot na tila pinag-iinitan ang back pocket ng bag ko, salamat po. Salamat at binigyan nyo ako ng pribilehiyong magbigay ng -cord ng charger, at least napalitan ko na yang defective na cord na yan; ng colored pencils, uh 3 years na sa akin halos yan so I guess dapat ko nang palitan, saka nakaipit sa likod nyan yung confiscated stash ng kapatid ko, kayo na po ang magdispatsya, enjoy; tissue and baby powder, di ko feel yung scent, pang-original johnsons talaga ako; and very recently yung suklay ko, sabagay feel ko ang kulot kong buhok, so thanks for the opportunity para mailugay ko sya. Pagpalain nawa kayo.

Cheese Stick Pesto or Classic Pandesal

It was a little after 5 in the afternoon and the sky promises of rain; I'm worried. I reread the last sms you sent and grunted, the gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach is over-taking me and soon after a decision was made. I gathered my things, finished whatever I can and took note of the tasks that will have to wait till the next day. I calculated the time; if I leave at 6, I can reach your place a little after 8, I can go back to Manila 10 at the latest and still make it to our rehearsal that usually drag on till the wee hours of the night. I tried containing this unnamed feeling that started swelling in me after the decision was made. Whatever may happen, this will be the first time that I'll be seeing you properly after almost 5 months of absence. 

"Whatever happened to us?" 

I shoved down this thought somewhere deep in my unconscious, if I dwell on it I may not be able to control the shivering in my muscles and the mixture of panic and excitement that is about to burst out from my mouth. I try to limit the expectations, whatever mess we are both in won't be fixed with just one surprise visit. It won't be that easy and it will require you clarifying the murky waters of whatever it is going on between us, or not. 

10 to 25: Ponderings

I shall stop saying one thing and do just the opposite. I am a mighty hypocrite at times and I will stop being one or at least die trying. I have to turn things around, and try really hard on working on the things that truly matter, it'll save me the heart aches in the end.

That Awkward Moment When...

(1) Your supposed childhood nemesis (like the really bad kind) is sort of trying to be friends with you. - "Or are we friends already? I seriously do not know how to react to the unnecessary and unexpected skinship."

(2) The guy you (unconsciously) friendzoned is revisiting that dark past in front of his family (again!). - "To which I shabbily dodge by changing the topic into lame ones."

“I will remember the kisses 

our lips raw with love 

and how you gave me 

everything you had 

and how I 

offered you what was left of 

me, 

and I will remember your small room 

the feel of you 

the light in the window 

your records 

your books 

our morning coffee 

our noons our nights 

our bodies spilled together 

sleeping 

the tiny flowing currents 

immediate and forever 

your leg my leg 

your arm my arm 

your smile and the warmth 

of you 

who made me laugh 

again.”

—	Charles Bukowski

Just last Thursday Macky and I had dinner, and we went on to talk about how Ro was jealous of you  because of 'yah, I wanted to tell him that you are not hanging around because of her but because of me. I wanted to tell him because I want to claim you for my own. That the promise you made 8 years ago still stands, regardless how immature it sounded then.