From the ashes

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”

-Haruki Murakami

Rat Race: 6th of 11

I don't think I follow the same time frame as most of my peers. When it comes to achievements in life or simply going on through a certain phase in my life, I'm either late or advanced that it even frustrates me; mostly at myself, mind you.

2 am walks

She and the Wonder boy walked down a sparingly lit road at 2 am.

Dear *Joseph

March 17, 2016

Thursday

Quezon City

Dear *Joseph, 

I realized I haven't written to you in 6 years, 3 months and 9 days. This realization came after that weird dream during my nap after my lunch break at Mama's. Halos isang dekada na tayong magkakilala, at ang weird weird mo pa rin, kahit panaginip lang yun. 

7th of 11: The Need for Friends

     If there is something, anything that the Lord made sure during this weekend's unraveling is that He made sure I didn't feel alone, even while the little plans that I have set ahead are all crumbling before my eyes, He made real sure that I didn't feel and wasn't left alone. He made His presence so felt that I get teary just by revisiting the experience. He reinforced it by sending friends.

     Salamat guys, di ko kayo maisa-isa pero I think I managed to keep my sanity in tact because of you. If you are ever feeling down and bad about yourself please know that you helped in lifting my spirits up (and I hope you realize what a big of a deal that is) and if you are looking for anything that will brighten your day, this is it. Thank you, sobra. Now let's move our butts and brave through this week. 

Giveaway

Sa mga mandurukot na tila pinag-iinitan ang back pocket ng bag ko, salamat po. Salamat at binigyan nyo ako ng pribilehiyong magbigay ng -cord ng charger, at least napalitan ko na yang defective na cord na yan; ng colored pencils, uh 3 years na sa akin halos yan so I guess dapat ko nang palitan, saka nakaipit sa likod nyan yung confiscated stash ng kapatid ko, kayo na po ang magdispatsya, enjoy; tissue and baby powder, di ko feel yung scent, pang-original johnsons talaga ako; and very recently yung suklay ko, sabagay feel ko ang kulot kong buhok, so thanks for the opportunity para mailugay ko sya. Pagpalain nawa kayo.

Greetings

CONVERSATION:

*spit balling for lack of something to do*

A: I've noticed that you are quite close to male gender, any reason to that?

B: I dunno, I'm straight, so isn't that quite natural?

UP Writers' Night

So pumunta ako sa UP Writers' Night kagabi...at marami akong napagtanto:

1. I'm hopeless sa pagbabasa kay Google Map, I understand directions much better kung galing sa tao with landmarks and all, wag lang basta "take a left here and a right there..."

2. For her: Yes dear, malapit ang UP Executive House sa College of Architecture, mas madaling tumbukin yung daan from kay Oble kesa magmula sa C.P Garcia (o baka naman yung isa pang Executive House yun, may dalawa daw kayo sa Diliman eh) tapos lakad ng kaunti at may 3 nagsasangang daan, Lakandula ata yun tapos Kalaw and then isang diretso, di ko maalala yung name pero dumiretso ako. Madadaanan yung Archi Building, tapos diretso lang and then a right, may makikita kang sort of barrier, follow the trail upward at yun na yung UP Executive House.

A PAGE OFF FROM MY JOURNAL: Surviving College, Student Orgs Edition

     Joining a student organization is said to be one of the essential experiences when you are studying in College. You know what I mean, fresh out of high school, you find yourself in a somewhat foreign place, far from the comfort of some of your closest high school friends and bombarded by this weird lifestyle called College. And out of nowhere come these student organizations with all of their offerings on how to fit in better in this new academic battle ground.

     My introduction to student orgs, as most call them, went a bit too meticulous. When I was just a freshman in College I joined a student organization that passed all the requirements I was looking for which are, first t must contribute something to my studies but is still considerably fun. Secondly, it should in no way resemble a fraternity or would require some sort of hazing as their initiation process. And lastly, one that would not require most of my time. I landed with an org that focuses on counselling and facilitation training, skills that I deem would be beneficial for me as a psychology student.

Thoughts on August 23rd

1. Birthday mo ngayon, di kita mabati kahit gustung-gusto ko. Siguro ang comforting thought na lang sa akin ay ang katotohanang di ikaw o ang kaarawan mo ang unang naisip ko pagdilat kanina, kundi sa wakas ay nakatulog ako ng sapat.

2. Nakatabi pa rin sa tokador ko ang mga necktie na dapat sana'y ireregalo ko sa pagpasa mo sa Master's program sa so called dream school mo. Hindi ko na naibigay noong umakyat tayo ng Baguio, sa dami kasi ng ginawa natin ay nakaligtaan ko na. Naisip ko na ihabol na lang para sa kaarawan mo, ngunit mukhang mananatili na lang sila sa tokador ko at mag-iipon ng alikabok.

Going Places: Bataan 1st Solo trip (Mt. Samat and Dunsulan Falls)

BATAAN GREEN LANDS

BACK STORY (because I need one)

I've always been envious of people who regularly go on  trips and just have an adventure. They post all of these pictures and experiences and I find myself on the side walk, just eating my heart out. With all that happened to me in the recent months I started craving to go to different places, however the fear of going alone fazed me. I constantly think that a lot of things can go wrong and that I may not be capable of going on a solo trip, however upon reading travel blogs I realized that like me (or somehow like me), they were beginners too, and the only thing different is that they took the first step in what is now a trend of young professionals who are more open to travelling and chasing down the opportunities of new experiences. Here's my feeble attempt.

Isang Milyon at Isang Posibilidad

So I am currently reading Ricky Lee's "Si Amapola sa 65 na Kabanata", di ko madalas binabasa ang ganitong klaseng libro, out of my comfort zone sya pero in fairness holding pa rin. Anyway, dun sa libro may nabanggit tungkol sa isang milyong posibilidad, at dahil sa mga nangyayari sa akin recently, napaisip din ako sa isang milyon at isa kong mga posibilidad. Sa sobrang dami, nakakalula na.

To get everything started

Mahigit dalawang buwan akong nagmukmok, at nagkimkim, at nag-inarte, at nagdrama, pero sa tingin ko gaya ng nasabi ko na noon, kailangan kong ilabas ang nararamdaman ko nang mas sistematiko at baka after noon ay magiging maayos na ako. So for once, I'll let myself be selfish, the rest of the world is anyway.

You led me on a**hole. Di yan himutok, plain statement lang. Di ko ugaling magmura, profanity feels unnatural coming out of my mouth, pero gaya din ng ibang tao may mga pagkakataong nakaka-relieve ang pagmumura ng mga mabibigat, ay tila may nabawas nga sa bigat na nararamdaman ko, kaso kahit ang gawin yun ng tuloy-tuloy ay di ko magawa, gusto pa din nga yata kita. Pero totoo nga, pinaasa mo ako. Di naman ako naghanap ng kahit ano, madalas na kausap lang  ang nais ko, at bilang matagal na tayong magkakilala ay di ako nag-alangan na makipag-usap saiyo.

Let's talk Satire

     The Miriam-Webster Dictionary defined satire as  "a way of using humor to show that someone or something is foolish, weak, bad, etc; or it is a kind of humor that shows the weaknesses or bad qualities of a person, government, society, etc." With the Filipinos' affinity with the use of humor as a coping mechanism, the use of satire is definitely something that is gaining popularity in our modern age.

    Satirical news portals such as "So, What's News" is a good example. It is an accessible source of political news and issues broken down and presented in a different way, the ridiculous way. These kinds of news sources shed a different light over the daily serving of gore and disappointments that is headline news. In a way, the use of humor helps the common Pinoy deal with all the heartbreaking realities that are ever present in his life. If one thinks about it, it so much like staring the ugliness in the face and laughing at it.